Tuesday, May 17, 2011

That'll Be The Last Time I Ask...

So I am a member of 20 Something Bloggers. A place for just for bloggers in the 20's. One forum I participated in was "The Official How Can I Improve My Blog" forum. I though it would be nice to get come constructive feedback on my content. Granted, it's my blog, I write whatever I want and feel and I wont be changing that, I was just curious. So this is the response I got from a fellow 20SB member:

Hi Delainey, I saw you hadn't gotten any feedback yet so I thought I'd check out your blog!     The first thing I noticed was that it's very busy. You've got every kind of possible feed going on and things scrolling on your sidebar and a bright yellow background. It kind of made my head hurt after a while. However, I guess this matches your personality because you use a lot of italics, bold, capital letters, and exclamation points so you seem like a really enthusiastic/excitable person. Not my style, but you seem to have a good number of readers, so it's working for you to some extent. Your content seems pretty scarce. I mean, most of your content seems to be blog memes (questionnaires, song linkups, Wordless Wednesday, soliciting reader questions). When you take the initiative to write something yourself it's mostly a few paragraphs complaining about something or other going on in your life. As a visitor, I don't see anything that really makes me want to stay and read. Nothing particularly thoughtful or helpful, just a lot of dramatic whining. I mean, the tag that has the second-highest number of posts out of all your tags is "Bleh." I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I can't think of a nicer way to put it!    You asked for honest feedback, and this is what I see. Even though you're probably not liking me too much right now, I'm going to offer some unsolicited advice, and that is to really put some effort into communicating with your future husband. Right now I don't get the sense that you have a trusting and mutually respectful relationship, and you can't be running off to post something every time he does something that annoys you. If you don't want him to leave the vacuum in the middle of the room, you have to tell him instead of just leaving it and hoping he'll get the hint. If you want him to say thank you more often, tell him that's important to you. Check out the book Spousonomics for a better way to approach household chores; the book The Five Love Languages for understanding how you show and expect love; and the podcast One Extraordinary Marriage for advice on building all levels of intimacy (physical, emotional, financial, etc.). Good luck with your blog, your upcoming wedding, and your marriage!

Maybe I am being a tad bit defensive but isn't this a tad bit rude? I mean, I feel like she's critiquing my life. And the comments about T & I's relationship? Who does this beeotch think she is commenting about my life and relationship!? Looks to me someone needs to get off their high horse.

I guess that is the last time I'll ever ask for Blog feedback. I love my blog, and I write whatever I feel. I never planned on writing something profound every day. I just planned on writing about me, my life, my stories, my marriage.

P.S Dramatic Whining? Last time I checked expressing one's feelings was a healthy action...


Nicole said...

I'll be honest...I can't read an ugly blog. But your blog is organized and well thought out, so I can't think of anything wrong with the layout! Sometimes I feel like I do too many memes, but if I have nothing else to write about...that's what I do. The commenter was just being a little too giving with their opinion. Don't listen to them :)

Mrs. Monkey said...

You are right. Commenting on her opinion of your blog is one thing. (BTW, I don't agree with her critique. I like your blog) But, commenting on your personal life is over the line. Is sounds like she's read all those books she's listed and is oh so proud of herself for it. Regardless, that's not the feedback you asked for and it's none of her bidness.

I would also venture to say that she's not a mil-spouse. The point of our blogs is to share and vent.

Anyway, don't listen to her, just do your thing.

kirstieJayy said...

umm, who is this biatch?
not being funny, but this is your blog. do with it what you wish!
fair enough you asked for feedback, but talking about your relationship?!?! she is cruisin' for a bruisin'!

personally, i love this blog!
okay, so i might be bias considering you are amazing and were my first guest blogger!
and i think you and you tall hunka-chunk are perfect!

and i am sooooooooo excited for the >you know what< [i cant say it because im too excited! haha]

also, thank you for loving my new haircut! might i add that i did it myself! :)

lots of love,


FemminaDaVinci said...

Constructive criticism on your blog = okay
Attacking your personal life = completely NOT okay

If she felt like what she was saying was rude, then she should have backspaced and not said it. Thats common sense right there! I wonder what her blog looks like...

Nicole *Sailor's Sweetheart* said...

All I have to say is EWWW and what a biotch!! I cannot believe the nerve of her! You asked for some constructive feedback and she felt the need to judge you, just not right! Your blog is great and you are awesome so don't listen to a word that commenter had to say, she needs to get down off the pedestal she felt the need to put herself on. You rock girl, keep it up! :)

Happiness Is A Mood said...

First of all...props to you for sharing this with us! I love your blog...one of the first ones I look at every day!! And clearly she has relationship problems or she would judge yours. Also, I love yellow :). Finally...totally agree that she is definitely not a military girl because she doesn't understand how valuable your rants are to those of us who feel better reading them when our men are far away or even close to home. You are great and so is your blog so keep doing what you do girl!! :)

*~BrittDill~* said...

This is soooo rude! First just to let you know, I always stop by and read your bloggy blog and love it. Second you asked for help on your blog, not your personal life. She had no right attacking your relationship. That was kind of out of line. And I don't think your blog has too much going on, if she thought that of your's, I would hate to see what she would think on my blog. lol I think you should just keep doing what your doing! :)

Gris said...


I would like to see her blog, lol.

I like reading your blog, it's your blog, you can say whatever you want to say. I would say she's just hating.

Nicole Marie said...

Someone needs their soap box ripped out from underneath them.

She was completely out of line. Her critic on the construction of your blog may have been warranted, since I believe that was the topic of the forum. But to attack your writing is cruel!!

If she wants to discuss writing styles, then she needs to learn how to break up a paragraph!! I hope that's not how she writes on her blog. I wouldn't be able to follow that.

For her to continue and try to tell you how to act in your own relationship is absolutely unacceptable. It is none of her business! I can't even believe this lady!!

Anonymous said...

Okay, she was WAY out of line! Perhaps instead of being so critical she could have give some tips on improvement and she could have DEFINITELY done that in a nice way.

Second, how dare she overstep and start critiquing your personal life! I am sorry, but it didn't sound like you were asking for relationship advice. The nerve of some people...

Personally, I love your blog! It's fun and cheerful looking, and definitely one of the first I look at each day :)